I've asked myself countless times, are you still yourself? As I grew older.. mature? maybe... finally, i'm brave enough to seek for an answer for this question haunting me past few years. And yes.. I found “it”... isn't what i'd expect yet it's not like i'm unaware of it.
Finding out that i'm just a mere shell is not that bad after all. At least I get to know myself more than just looking at the mirror. Small shell as I was... I had always managed to live up to expectations.. being a perfectionist wasn't that hard but as time passed... more and more things filled into this tiny shell. So much... that the shell can take it no more. Contaminated... once glowing so bright in this dark beach.. “once....” it's getting dim.. getting pale.. indistinct and finally it failed.....
Failed to contain everything everyone filled in as it begun to leak... leaking necessary and unnecessary things... slowly. People aren't going to notice the leakage deep inside, or rather even if they knew... no one's going to fix it.... Only thing they'd do are just continue filling this broken shell.. until one day.
However, this failure is not to be put blame into anyone.. none other than the shell itself. For not being strong enough to hold and huge enough to keep...
For those who read this... and you think your having the same trouble... good luck mate.. don't get broken as much as I do. Welcome to life... to maturity...
For those who think your getting “filled” more than I do and your doing perfectly fine... then gtfo and do your party... i'm sorry I ain't that big shell as you are.
Finally, my answer. No! I'm pretty sure i'm not myself anymore... not anymore but one day... I will be back.... I know I will!
So are you still yourself??
